You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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