im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
