Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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