I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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