we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
