I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
