i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
