I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
