I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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