Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
