woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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