girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
