so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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