Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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