i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize