Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize