i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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