we're blogging at a bar
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize