Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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