So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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