Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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