Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
