What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
