I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
