never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
