Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
