Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize