Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What a dumb baby whore.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
