you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
