He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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