Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can I color on your dick again?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
