hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just forgot I was standing up.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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