:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
