in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
