I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
