Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
