Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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