I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
