Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize