He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
