i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
