My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
