I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So vagazzling was a success
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
