Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
