your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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