Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
