your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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