my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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