I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
