I just made out with a guy for $7.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
