Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
