then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize