who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize