can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
