Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
