Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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