This girl is more easily done than said...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
