last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
