Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
