there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
