She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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