fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
