Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
