now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
