I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How does one acquire holy water?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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