So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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