I bet he comes in French.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
