its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
