I just threw up on my dentist
4 words: hood of his car
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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