Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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