I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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