I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
