guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
