nut hugger
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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