hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
