last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He? As in you personified your dick?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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