I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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