I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize