I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just threw up on my dentist
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
